60 Best Zoolander Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud

Looking for popular funny lines from comical movie Zoolander? We have rounded up the best collection of Zoolander quotes, dialogues, funny statements, and one-liners from different cast of the movie.

Zoolander is a 2001 American comedy flick directed by Ben Stiller and starring Stiller, Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell. It is a satire on the fashion industry, the film was a box office success, and had gained critical acclaim. The movie is remembered for its Famous Funny Zoolander quotes by Derek, Hansel, and Mmagatu.

Also See: Pootie Tang Quotes

Zoolander is a 2001 American comedy film directed by and starring Ben Stiller. The film contains elements from a pair of short films directed by Russell Bates and written by Drake Sather and Stiller for the VH1 Fashion Awards television specials in 1996 and 1997.

“Zoolander” movie quotes allow viewers to get inside the head of a three-time male model of the year Derek Zoolander as he ponders the important things, like if there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking.

List of Most Funny Zoolander Quotes

So grab an orange Mocha Frappuccino and some crazy pills and enjoy the finer moments from the 2001 comedy film “Zoolander.”

  1. “You mean you can read minds?” – Derek Zoolander

  2. “Merman………. MERMAN!” – Derek Zoolander

  3. “And I’m not your BRA.” – Derek Zoolander

  4. “Be professionally good looking.” – Derek Zoolander

  5. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.”

  6. “I’m just wearing my new look cold coffee” – Derek Zoolander

  7. “What is this? A school for ants?!” – Derek Zoolander

  8. “I think I’ve got the black lung, pop.” – Derek Zoolander

  9. “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it!” – Mugatu

  10. “Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.” – Derek Zoolander

  11. “I can Derelick my own balls, thank you.” – Derek Zoolander

  12. “Derek Zoolander: “What say we settle this on the runway… Han-Solo?”

  13. “Eugoogiligist: A person who delivers eugoogiligies.” – Derek Zoolander

  14. Hansel: “Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander?”

  15. “For god’s sake Derek, you were down there one day!” – Larry Zoolander

  16. “What is this? A center for ants?!”

  17. “Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.” – Derek Zoolander

  18. “Dammit Derek, I’m a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.” — Larry Zoolander

  19. “I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” — Derek Zoolander

  20. “Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn’t mean that we still can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.” – Derek Zoolander

  21. “Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.” – Derek Zoolander

  22. “There was a moment last night when she was sandwiched between the two finish dwarfs and the Maori tribesmen where I thought where I thought wow I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.” – Derek Zoolander

  23. “Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?” — Quote by Derek Zoolander

  24. “People come up to me all the time and say ‘you should be a model,’ or ‘you look just like a model,’ or ‘maybe you should try to be a man who models.’ And I always have to laugh because I’m so good looking. Of course I’m a model.” —Derek Zoolander

  25. “I have problems with turns, because I’m left-handed, and they haven’t built a left-handed runway yet. I’ve done over 1,000 runway shows in my career, and if you put all those runways end to end, it’d be so long I couldn’t even walk down it without getting tired.” – Derek Zoolander

Funny Zoolander Quotes

  1. “Obey my dog!” – Mugatu

  2. “I’m bulimic.” – Matilda

  3. “Put a cork in it, Zane!” – Derek Zoolander

  4. “They’re the same damn look!” – Jacobim Mugatu

  5. “Hansel’s so hot right now, Hansel.” – Mugatu

  6. “You is talking loco and I like it!” – Hansel

  7. “I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it!” – Mugatu

  8. “It’s that damn Hansel! He’s so hot right now!” – Mugatu

  9. “Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine.” – Hansel

  10. “Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander?” – Hansel

  11. “Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero.” – Hansel

  12. “Who are you tryin’ to get crazy with, ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?” – Hansel

  13. “And it was. I’m totally fine! I’ve never even been to Mount Vesuvius.” – Hansel

  14. “I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree.” – Hansel

  15. “I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling?” – Hansel

  16. “I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut.” – Hansel

  17. “I think the only good thing about it would be there’d be no turns.” — Derek Zoolander

  18. “I’m sorry that good looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” — Hansel

  19. “Damnit Derek, I’m a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.” – Larry Zoolander

  20. “You’re dead to me, son. You’re even more dead to me than your dead mother.” – Larry Zoolander

  21. “You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite….you aren’t.” – Derek Zoolander

  22. “How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?” — Derek Zoolander

  23. “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.” – Derek Zoolander

  24. “No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.” – Hansel
  25. “One of my heroes I guess would be Sting. I mean, I don’t listen to any of his music, but I really respect that he’s making it.” – Hansel

  26. “The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that.” – Hansel

  27. “So I’m rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahhh ahhh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?” – Hansel

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Did you enjoy these Zoolander quotes and lines? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.
Clear the runway for Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) VH1’s three-time male model of the year. His face falls when hippie-chic Hansel (Owen Wilson) scooters in to steal this year’s award.
The evil fashion guru Mugatu (Will Ferrell) seizes the opportunity to turn Derek into a killing machine. It’s a well-designed conspiracy and only with the help of Hansel and a few well-chosen accessories like Matilda (Christine Taylor) can Derek make the world safe for male models everywhere.

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