Funny Words Of Wisdom To Make You Smile

Read the best collection of funny words of wisdom, quotes, sayings, funny jokes, phrases, one-liners, captions, and status messages, (with images, pictures, and memes,) to inspire you with wise words with a pinch of humor.

Some encouraging words and life lessons when put forward on a lighter note, then it make the message clear and uplift your mood and spirits.

These quotes are a mix of funny, inspirational, encouraging, motivational, sarcastic, and humorous one-liners to take life easy and enjoy it while living it.

Also See: Epic Sarcastic and Bitchy Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine in life, and these funny inspirational wise words and quotes are guaranteed to brighten your day by putting a big beautiful smile on your face.

These amusing words of wisdom are really funny and are relatable to married couples, lovers, students, new moms, brides, parents, children, and more and these wise quotes are really witty with a tinge of sarcasm to make you go ROFL.

Don’t forget to check out our collection of really funny one-liners about life.

Funny Words Of Wisdom

1. “Overthinking kills happiness.”
2. “Live for today, not for tomorrow.”
3. “Life is short. Smile till you have teeth.”
4. “Surround yourself with tacos not negativity.”
5. “Never look back, there is nothing there for you.”
6. “Friends buy you food. Good friends eat your food.”

   
7. “Cowboy Wisdom: Don’t squat with your spurs on.”
8. “A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ― Mary H. Waldrip
9. “Even monkeys fall from trees.” ― Japanese Proverbs
10. “Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better.”
11. “It’s always too early to quit.” ― Norman Vincent Peale
12. “Listen to your dreams – they are smarter than you are.”

    

13. “If overthinking situations burned calories, I’d be dead.”

    

14. “One fails forward toward success.” ― Charles Kettering
15. “No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank
16. “If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?”
17. “It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” ― Brigitte Bardot
18. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” ― Steven Wright
19. “They that dance must pay the fiddler.” ― Scottish Proverb
20. “I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday!”
21. “Marriage: An endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo.”

    

22. “Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.”
23. “Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you.”
24. “The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.”
25. “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” ― Tony Robbins
26. “If you all the rules, you miss all the fun.” ― Katharine Hepburn
27. “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some Honors!”

    

28. “This too shall pass. It might like a kidney stone, but it will pass.”
29. “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” ― Phyllis Diller
30. “An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”

Short Funny Quotes – That Are Wise and Witty

1. “It’s funny how nobody notices what you do until you don’t do it.”

   

2. “Common sense is a flow that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.”
3. “Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures.” ― Gene Brown
4. “When a southern woman says “Oh hell no”. It’s already too late.”
5. “Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.”
6. “Happiness comes from within. So why are you trying to chase it?”
7. “The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.”
8. “If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.”

   

9. “No response is a response. And it’s powerful one. Remember that.”
10. “Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” ― Stephen Covey
11. “Cause your facial expression to change – smile.” ― Catherine Pulsifer
12. “Why do we call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams
13. “A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” ― Charles Gordy
14. “I could be a morning person… if morning was sometime around noon.”

    

15. “If elections changed anything, they you be forbidden.” ― Kurt Tucholsky
16. “Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman… Then better be Batman.”
17. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” ― Mark Twain
18. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” ― Bill Gates

    

19. “Complicated problems always have the easiest and most wrong solutions.”

    

20. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” ― Irish Proverbs

Words of Wisdom Funny

1. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen
2. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ― Gandhi
3. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
4. “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” ― Asian Proverbs
5. “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ― Wayne Dyer
6. “Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.” ― Francis Bacon
7. “Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love – it makes you human.”
8. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” ― Audrey Hepburn
9. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” ― George Carlin
10. “A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.” ― Henry Ford
11. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” ― Will Rogers
12. “Wednesday Wisdom: There is no elevator to success you have to take the stairs.”
13. “Weak people want revenge, strong people forgive, and intelligent people ignore.”
14. “A smart person knows what to say, a wise person knows whether to say it or not.”

    

15. “Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.” ― Margaret Bonnano

Funny Sayings About Life

1. “Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.” ― Bernard Sahlins
2. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ― Elbert Hubbard
3. “I’m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question.”
4. “I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.”
5. “On a scale of one to nature valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?”
6. “I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” ― Maya Angelou
7. “I don’t want problems solved for me. I want the fishing rod, not the fish.” ― Yanni
8. “You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” ― Solomon Schechter Focus
9. “Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.” ― Thomas Sowell
10. “Since light faster than sound, people may appear bright until you hear them speak.”
11. “I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounces at the graduation ceremony.”
12. “You know you’re a Mom when you understand why mama bear’s porridge was cold.”

    

13. “You choose to laugh instead of helping your friend… Congrats! You are a bully now!”
14. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ― Steven Wright
15. “To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!” ― Edgar Allan Poe
16. “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” ― Irish Quote
17. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” ― Woody Allen
18. “Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason.”
19. “A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.” ― BC Forbes
20. “Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
21. “An optimistic is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” ― Irv Kupcinet
22. “Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” ― Charles M. Schulz
23. “Beware of him who gives you advice according to his own interest.” ― Hebrew Proverb
24. “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ― Franklin Roosevelt
25. “I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked!” ― Muhammad Ali
26. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” ― Proverb
27. “The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
28. “People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.” ― Benjamin Franklin
29. “Laughing is the best medicine, but if you laugh without any reason, you need medicine.”
30. “If the words don’t add up, its usually because the truth wasn’t included in the equation.”

    

31. “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― C.E.M. Joad
32. “Life’s a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest.” ― Wilson Mizner
33. “Logic with get you from A to B. imagination will take you everywhere.” ― Albert Einstein
34. “The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m in a plane at 33,000 feet.” ― Robert Rivers
35. “You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.” ― Joel Osteen

Words of Wisdom Funny

1. “I am almost never sure about what I want but I am always sure about what I don’t want.”
2. “Don’t mess with me. I know karate, judo, jujitsu, kung fu and 20 other dangerous words.”
3. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” ― Confucius
4. “Wisdom is always an overmatch for strength.” ― Phil Jackson, (Former Basketball Coach)
5. “It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
6. “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” ― Gandhi
7. “Water’s like me. It’s lazy. Boy, it always looks for the easiest way to do things.” ― Bob Ross
8. “I’m not so good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” ― Chandler Bing
9. “Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.” ― Frank Moore Colby
10. “Yoga is the fountain of youth. You’re only as young as your spine is flexible.” ― Bob Harper
11. “Without enthusiasm, your sales talk is about as dead as last year’s turkey.” ― Dale Carnegie
12. “You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!” ― Eric Thomas
13. “Lower your expectations of earth. This isn’t heaven, so don’t expect it to be.” ― Max Lucado
14. “You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire.” ― Emily Ley
15. “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” ― Groucho Marx
16. “You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” ― Rabindranath Tagore
17. “An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” ― Winston S. Churchill
18. “Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty.” ― Thomas Sowell
19. “If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. (5 by 5 rule)”
20. “Two things to make your day better 1. Do not watch the news. 2. Stay off the bathroom scales.”
21. “I don’t want to be a genius – I have enough problems just trying to be a man.” ― Albert Camus
22. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” ― Bob Hope
23. “Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away.” ― Ann Schade

    

24. “The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth.” ― Ryan Cooper, Difficult People
25. “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” ― Mark Twain
26. “My smart mouth always gets me in trouble, and if it’s not my mouth, it’s my facial expressions.”

    

27. “I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think out of the box… I don’t even know where the box is.”
28. “I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.” ― Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), Movie: The Office
29. “Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time.” ― Steven Redhead
30. “People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.” ― Otto von Bismarck
31. “Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s much more comfortable crying in a Porsche than o a bicycle.”

    

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Read on to find these slightly twisted words of wisdom that will make you LOL. Bring a smile to your face with these funny quotes – you will find laughter, humor, and a bit of wisdom in these.

You can download the free Funny Words of Wisdom Quotes PDF here and enjoy forwarding it to your friends and family to make them laugh out loud and have a great time.

Also See: Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

Our collection includes funny inspirational and motivational quotations said by some famous people and others. We all need humor in life it helps with the challenges that we all sometimes face! If you like these quotes then check out our post on inspirational quotes to uplift your mood daily.

Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, and more to spread positive vibes about being wise in a fun way.