To help laugh about the years past and your own romance, here are some funny quotes that are meant specifically for wedding anniversaries. The key to a great anniversary celebration is laughter and humor. Send witty and funny anniversary quotes to your partner and lighten up your celebration.
Marriage is not always easy, its a mix of hard, funny, and sometimes unthinkable (i.e. you probably know way too much about his bodily functions) moments which make it beautiful. Use these relatable quotes and anniversary quotes as text messages, Instagram or Facebook status or any way you’d like – to have a good laugh together on this special day with your husband/wife. #FunnyAnniversaryQuotes
Funny Happy Anniversary Quotes for Couples
“You’re still here? I like it.”
“Holy shit. We’re still married!”
“I’m completely not sick of you yet.”
“Marriage: when dating goes too far.”
“Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.”
“Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”
“Cheers to another year of pain and suffering.”
“I’ll love you even when you’re old and wrinkly.”
“I really love you, etc. etc. etc. Can we eat now?”
“Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”
“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
“I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”
“I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”
“Let’s never give up on trying to change each other.”
“It’s remarkable how long we’ve tolerated each other.”
“Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”
“I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”
“Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”
“Cheers to two imperfect pieces that fit perfectly together.”
“Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.”
“Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”
“One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”
“There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”
“My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”
“If love is an amazing dream,then marriage is the alarm clock.”
“Marriage is a workshop… where husband works & wife shops..”
“All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”
“Congratulations on choosing a spouse who makes you look sane.”
“Congratulations! Cheer’s to another year of suffering and misery.”
“We go together like “copy” and “paste.” Happy Anniversary Baby!”
“My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!”
“The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.”
“Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”
“Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.”
“Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”- Groucho Marx
“Peanut butter and jelly are not a finer match. Cheers to our Anniversary!”
“Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”
“Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”
“In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” – Woody Allen
“After all this time, my love for you is still stronger than my desire to be single.”
“Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.”
“Behind every great man – there’s a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
“Three kids, two love birds and one mortgage — We’re in this together. Love ya!”
“Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.”
“Happy Anniversary! We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.”
“To say I fell hard for you is an understatement. I still love you now more than ever.”
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.”
“I love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. Not on the head…but maybe like…the leg”
“Let’s keep making memory after memory together; even though you’re losing yours.”
“I can’t think of the words to express how I feel for you. Thanks for loving me anyways.”
“I thought that a condolences card was more fitting for you for our anniversary.”
“You have me, so I don’t know what else you could wish for. But knock yourself out.”
“If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.”
“Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”
“You are the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy Anniversary!”
“Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.”
“Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.”
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans
“A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”
“Congratulations on another anniversary that proves that you are blessed with each other.”
“Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”
“Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery.”
“A toast to making it another year of successfully pretending that we know what we’re doing!”
“On our wedding anniversary I just want to give a big party from your pay. Happy Anniversary!”
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. “- Michel De Montaigne
“I fall in love with you each and every day. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”
“Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”
“A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time.”
“Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, So we’re even.”
“An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
“Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Holy crap.We’re still married?You’re still my husband?Happy anniversary, I guess. I love you!”
“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.”- Josh Billings
“Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.”- Melanie White
“Love means commitment. Of course, so do most mental illnesses! Wishing you a Happy Anniversary.”
“Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.”
“After all these years, I think that I got the better end of the deal. Thanks for putting up with me all these years.”
“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.”
“If I had to choose to do it all over again I would marry you again… I’m not so sure about having the kids though.”
“I am happy to know two amazing people who have been together for an amazing amount of time. That’s you two!”
“Wherever you are there I will be, to prevent you from getting into trouble. Happy Anniversary my sweetheart!”
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
“I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”
“Then there was a man who said, ‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
“Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail. I call that a win. Happy Anniversary.”
“Happy anniversary, and just so you know, these anniversary wishes are not late, they are almost a whole year early!”
“Drug stores understand life. That’s why the Anniversary cards and Sympathy cards are right next to each other.”
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” -Socrates
“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”
“There is one place I would love to go for our anniversary that I feel we don’t go to enough throughout the year. The bedroom!”
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.”- Isadora Duncan
“Before, I thought I know what happiness is, I just realize what it was when I got married Then I wake up, it’s already too late!”
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it. Whenever you’re right – shut up.”
“A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
“Nothing makes me happier than knowing that you love me for who I am and letting me be myself. Even if I am obnoxious and crazy.”
“Through thick and through thin? I used to be thin and now I’m thick, but I still love you more than ever. Congrats on our anniversary.”
“We have a love-hate relationship – we love one another and hate to be without each other. I’ll follow you wherever you go my Love.”
“I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back to the fridge.”
“Another revolution of the earth and you still have me spinning head over heels in love. Congratulations on our Anniversary, Lover Boy!”
“For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones
“Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.” – James Garner
“If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.”
“Anniversaries remind me that I am can annoy you again. Thanks for last year giving me plenty of opportunity. For now, happy anniversary!”
“On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing it in the future.”
“The longer you’re with someone the more you rub off on each other. So I don’t expect that at this point there is much of you left as individuals.”
“Thinking about it, I wouldn’t have married you if I want a peaceful life. My life would have been so unexciting and boring. Happy Anniversary!”
“God proved his sense of humor when he matched you and me together. He also proved His genius. Three cheers, we made it another year hubby!”
“Marriage is like a deck of cards: at the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but after a while, you just wish you had a club and a spade!”
“When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.” – Katharine Hepburn
“Ok, so most of our candlelight dinners are when the electricity goes off. But, you still keep me charged every day. Love you and happy anniversary.”
“I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks and washing your underwear.”
“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.”
“Thank you for wedding me and given me a chance, To scream at you whenever I feel, And I am sure I have you to do the same in future. So let us celebrate our Happy Anniversary!”
“Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.”- Oscar Wilde
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. “- Jack Benny
“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.” – Jean Kerr
“I thought I’ll collapse, Imagine, it’s been another year since we last celebrate the day our suffering, errr loving, starts! We must really in love with each other, don’t you think? Happy Anniversary!”
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henry Youngman
“I Love You So Much I’d Fight a Bear for You. Well Not a Grizzly Bear Because They Have Claws, And Not a Panda Bear Because They Know Kung Fu… But A Care Bear, I’d Definitely Fight a Care Bear for You.”
“On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband!”
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