35 Really Funny One Liners About Life
Looking for some witty and humorous one liners on life? We have rounded up some of the best collection of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes.
Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. Don’t take life too seriously. Just laugh. That’s the perfect counter-balance to life.
Also See: Funny Words of Wisdom
Life is full of many ironical aspects that are beyond human comprehension. So, ‘Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive’ is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh.
Also See: Epic Sarcastic and Bitchy Quotes
In this article, we shall read some really funny and sarcastic quotes that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever and witty.
Funny One-Liners On Life
- “Life is a terminal disease.”
- “Take my advice — I’m not using it.”
- “A clean house is a sign of a misspent life”
- “Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything”
- “If you fall, I’ll be there.” – Floor
- “Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives”
- “Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.”
- “It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission”
- “Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit”
- “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you”
- “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity”
- “He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame”
- “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
- “I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it”
- “We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.”
- “The important thing to remember is not to forget.”
- “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.”
- “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!”
- “What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?”
- “Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice”
- “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it”
- “Seven days without laughter makes one weak.” ― Mort Walker
- “Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.” ― Morris Kline
- “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms”
- “God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.”
- “The best things in life are free but you still have to pay shipping”
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” ― Steven Wright
- “The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.”
- “When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.”
- “By the time you learn the rule of life, you’re too old to play the game.”
- “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
- “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” ― Cindy Gerard, To the Limit
- “Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
- “Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.” ― Karen Salmansohn
- “Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” ― Charles M. Schultz
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About The Author
Ananya Bhatt
I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better.
