35 Really Funny One Liners About Life

Looking for some witty and humorous one liners on life? We have rounded up some of the best collection of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes.

Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. Don’t take life too seriously. Just laugh. That’s the perfect counter-balance to life.

Also See: Funny Words of Wisdom

Life is full of many ironical aspects that are beyond human comprehension. So, ‘Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive’ is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh.

Also See: Epic Sarcastic and Bitchy Quotes

In this article, we shall read some really funny and sarcastic quotes that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever and witty.

Funny One-Liners On Life

1. “Life is a terminal disease.”
   

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2. “Take my advice — I’m not using it.”
   

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3. “A clean house is a sign of a misspent life”
   

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4. “Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything”
   

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5. “If you fall, I’ll be there.” – Floor
   

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6. “Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives”
   

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7. “Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.”
   

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8. “It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission”
   

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9. “Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit”
   

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10. “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you”
    

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11. “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity”
    

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12. “He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame”
    

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13. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
    

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14. “I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it”
    

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15. “We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.”
    

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16. “The important thing to remember is not to forget.”
    

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17. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.”
    

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18. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!”
    

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19. “What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?”
    

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20. “Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice”
    

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21. “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it”
    

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22. “Seven days without laughter makes one weak.” ― Mort Walker
    

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23. “Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.” ― Morris Kline
    

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24. “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms”
    

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25. “God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.”
    

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26. “The best things in life are free but you still have to pay shipping”
    

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27. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” ― Steven Wright
    

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28. “The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.”
    

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29. “When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.”
    

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30. “By the time you learn the rule of life, you’re too old to play the game.”
    

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31. “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    

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32. “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” ― Cindy Gerard, To the Limit
    

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33. “Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
    

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34. “Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.” ― Karen Salmansohn
    

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35. “Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” ― Charles M. Schultz

 

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