190 Sarcastic Quotes On Sarcasm And Witty Wisdom

Let us put away the “Why so serious” face and have some fun with these sarcastic quotes, sayings, captions, and comments to help you laugh and embrace humor to overcome all the stress.

Sarcasm is a smart and creative way to convey your feelings in a clever and witty way. It may take various forms like a joke, pun, saying, remark that is funny, hilarious, mocking, or ironic.

These sarcastic remarks and jokes are great to enjoy with friends, colleagues, and family to diffuse a tense or heavy situation.

Sarcasm is often used to mock or criticize someone or something, and it can be used to express frustration, anger, or disbelief. It’s time to be rude in humor! (Just Kidding) Enjoy!!

Though sarcasm can be a fun, quirky, and lighthearted way to communicate, it is important to use it responsibly so that it doesn’t hurt someone.

 Sarcastic Quotes for You

  1. If your phone doesn’t ring, It’s ME. – Unknown                                                                                                              sarcastic one liners
  2. Don’t study me..You won’t graduate. – Unknown                                                                                                                Epic Sarcastic Quotes
  3. I’m going to hell on a full scholarship. – Unknown                                                                                                                              best sarcastic quotes
  4. What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me. – Unknown                                                                                                  Funny Sarcasm Pictures
  5. Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. – Unknown                                                                                                          sarcastic quote
  6. I’m multitasking..I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time. – Unknown                                                                           

    funny sarcastic quotes
    funny sarcastic quotes
  7. Sarcasm: the witty will have fun, but the stupid won’t get it. – Unknown                                                                                    Top Sarcastic Quotes
  8. Revenge is beneath me. But Accidents Happen. – Unknown                                                                                                        funny quotes sarcastic
  9. I’m 97% sure you don’t like me. But I’m 100% sure I don’t care. – Unknown                                                                               

    sarcasm quotes
    sarcasm quotes
  10. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ. – Unknown                                                                        sarcastic inspirational quotes

Witty Sarcastic Quotes

If you’re looking to add a dash of humor or a sprinkle of sass to your daily interactions, sarcastic lines are just the ticket.

These little nuggets of humor and irony allow you to say what you really mean but in a clever and often amusing way.

  1. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”
  2. “You go, girl! And don’t come back.”
  3. “Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”
  4. “Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!”
  5. “I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.”
  6. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”
  7. “If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”
  8. “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”
  9. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”
  10. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

Sarcasm Quotes

  1. Fluent in sarcasm.. – Unknown                                                                                                                                                           

    funny quotes on sarcasm
    funny quotes on sarcasm
  2. Everyone was thinking it. I just said it. – Unknown                                                                                                                                              Sarcasm Picture Quotes
  3. I’ve got a good heart but this mouth.. – Unknown                                                                                                                          Sarcasm Sayings
  4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. – Unknown                                                                                                                        Quotes About Being Sarcastic
  5. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you. – Unknown                                                                                                            Sarcastic Images
  6. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. – Unknown                                                                                                        sarcastic comments
  7. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm…are my favorite. – Unknown                                                                           

    humor sarcasm
    humor sarcasm
  8. I don’t have the energy to pretend I like you today. – Unknown                                                                                                   

    sarcastic quotes
    sarcastic quotes
  9. Sarcasm is a body’s natural defense against stupid. – Unknown                                                                                               

    witty sarcastic quotes
    witty sarcastic quotes
  10. I am a nice person. Just don’t push the bitch button. – Unknown                                                                                        sarcastic captions

Sarcastic Quotes To Make You Laugh

  1. “Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!”– Anonymous
  2. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”– Anonymous
  3. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”– Anonymous
  4. “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”– Anonymous
  5. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”– Anonymous
  6. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”– Anonymous
  7. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”– Anonymous
  8. “Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?”– Anonymous
  9. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”– Anonymous
  10. “What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?”– Anonymous
  11. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world!”– Anonymous
  12. “I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.”– Anonymous
  13. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
  14. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

Savage Quotes About Being Sarcastic

  1. “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”– Anonymous
  2. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”– Anonymous
  3. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”– Anonymous
  4. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”– Anonymous
  5. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”– Anonymous
  6. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”– Anonymous
  7. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”– Anonymous
  8. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”– Anonymous
  9. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”
  10. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”– Anonymous
  11. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”– Anonymous

Epic Sarcastic Quotes

  1. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”– Anonymous
  2. “My ex had one very annoying habit: Breathing.”– Anonymous
  3. “Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”– Anonymous
  4. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m just beyond your understanding.”– Anonymous
  5. “Sarcasm: because beating the crap outta people is illegal.”– Anonymous
  6. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”– Anonymous
  7. “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”– Anonymous
  8. “I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.”– Anonymous
  9. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.”– Anonymous
  10. “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”– Anonymous
  11. “Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.”– Anonymous
  12. “If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”– Anonymous
  13. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”- Ashleigh Brilliant
  14. “Going to church doesn’t make you Christian; any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”– Anonymous
  15. “The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid.”– Anonymous
  16. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”– Anonymous

Funny Sarcastic Quotes On Life

  1. “Life’s good, you should get one.”
  2. “All the good ones are taken.”– Murphy’s Laws
  3. “Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.”– Murphy’s Laws
  4. “If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.”– Murphy’s Laws
  5. “Violence won’t solve anything. But it sure makes me feel good.”– Anonymous
  6. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”– Anonymous
  7. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”– Anonymous
  8. “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”– Mark Twain
  9. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”– Anonymous
  10. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”– Oscar Wilde
  11. “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.”
  12. “My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.”
  13. “If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.”
  14. “Askhole. A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.”

Sarcastic Sayings

  1. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King
  2. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
  3. “We are all born mad. Some remain so.” ― Samuel Beckett
  4. “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.” – Oliver Hardy
  5. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
  6. “99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” ― Steven Wright
  7. “Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
  8. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.” ― Oscar Wilde
  9. “It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.”– Woody Allen
  10. “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”– Murphy’s Laws

Funniest Sarcastic Love Quotes

  1. My favorite party trick is not going.– Anonymous
  2. “Single? No, I’m just in a relationship with freedom.”– Anonymous
  3. “81% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 19% have brains.”– Anonymous
  4. “Dear weather, don’t be so cool and romantic! We’re single.”– Anonymous
  5. “Call her beautiful, not hot. She’s a woman, not temperature.”– Anonymous
  6. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”– Anonymous
  7. “Oh… I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.”– Anonymous
  8. “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?”– Anonymous
  9. “What is it called when your crush has a crush on you – Imagination.”– Anonymous
  10. “I think I’m in a love triangle, I love myself, myself loves me, me loves I.”– Anonymous
  11. “My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. I haven’t found her yet.”– Anonymous
  12. “Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.”
  13. “Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.”– Murphy’s Laws
  14. “Before falling in love, remember a girl’s mood can change in just like 0.0003 seconds.”
  15. “Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood that’s it.”
  16. “Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.”– Benjamin Disraeli
  17. “The brain is most outstanding organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love.”
  18. “Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.”– Anonymous

Sarcastic Work Quotes

  1. “The reward for good work is more work.”– Anonymous
  2. “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.”– Anonymous
  3. “Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.”– Anonymous
  4. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”– Anonymous
  5. “I can barely wait to take credit for your great ideas.”– Anonymous
  6. “You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you.”– Anonymous
  7. “You don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it sure helps.”– Anonymous
  8. “Please try to schedule meetings around my job interviews.”– Anonymous
  9. “I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally.”– Anonymous
  10. “I’d have better people skills if I worked with better people.”– Anonymous
  11. “I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.”– Anonymous
  12. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.”– Anonymous
  13. “I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.”– Anonymous
  14. “It’s so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.”– Anonymous
  15. “I wish we worked together so we could hate the same coworkers.”
  16. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
  17. “Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you’re already doing.”
  18. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”
  19. “When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.”
  20. “Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.” ― Scott Adams
  21. “Pride, commitment, and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.”
  22. “Everybody brings joy to this office… some when they enter, some when they exit.”
  23. “Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.”
  24. “Appearing busy to avoid being laid off has become more exhausting than actually working.”
  25. “Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really.”
  26. “I should get an award for how I’ve managed to not punch you in the face every time I see you.”
  27. “Office politics – you have to learn the rules of the game and then you have to play them better than anyone else.”

Bitchy Sarcastic Friendship Quotes

  1. “You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”– Anonymous
  2. “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”– Anonymous
  3. “If you have crazy friends then you have everything.”– Anonymous
  4. “I love my phone because all my friends live inside it.”– Anonymous
  5. “Friends come and go but enemies remain and build up.”– Anonymous
  6. “I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”– Anonymous
  7. “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.”– Anonymous
  8. “Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid stuff alone.”– Anonymous
  9. “Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep annoying them.”– Anonymous
  10. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”– Anonymous
  11. “I was an innocent being once…then my best friend came along.”– Anonymous
  12. “You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.”– Anonymous
  13. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”– Anonymous
  14. “Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.”– Anonymous
  15. “True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.”– Anonymous
  16. “I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.”
  17. “I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.”
  18. “Sometimes I think, ‘What is a friend?’ Then I say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.”– Anonymous
  19. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.”– Anonymous

Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes 

  1. Not sarcastic. Just brutally honest. – Unknown                                                                                                        sarcastic fake people quotes
  2. “Live a life without drama.” – Unknown                                                                                                                            Most Funniest Sarcasm Quotes
  3. “When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.” – Unknown                                                                                                        sarcastic words
  4. “You never learn anything by doing it right.” – Unknown                                                                                                hilarious sarcastic quotes
  5. “Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.” – Unknown                                                                                              funny sarcastic life quotes
  6. “Always give 100%, except when giving blood.” – Unknown                  
  7. “A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.” – Unknown                                                                                                        sarcastic texts
  8. “Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.” – Unknown
  9. “Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught.” – Unknown                                                                                              sarcastic memes
  10. “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

Quotes About Sarcasm

  1. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
  2. “A conclusion is a part where you got tired of thinking.”
  3. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
  4. “Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.”
  5. “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
  6. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
  7. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
  8. “A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
  9. “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
  10. “There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.”
  11. “We don’t need CCTV camera in our country. Neighbors and relatives are enough.”
  12. “Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
  13. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.”
  14. “Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”


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