90 Best Danny DeVito Quotes That Are Funny & Witty

Looking for inspirational quotes from the comic genius Danny DeVito? We have rounded up the best collection of Danny DeVito quotes, sayings, captions, and status (with images and pictures) from his life and movies that will tickle your funny bone.

Danny DeVito is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, director, and filmmaker. He is considered one of the finest Hollywood actors and has been a part of the industry for over four decades.

Danny rose to fame for his portrayal of the taxi dispatcher Louie De Palma in the hit television series Taxi (1978–1983). He won several awards, including a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his work in this series.

Also See: Laugh at Yourself Quotes

Followed by the success of Taxi, Danny appeared in various films and television shows.

Danny is also loved for his voiceover work in films like Hercules (1997), The Lorax (2012), and Smallfoot (2018). He is popularly known for his performance on the FX and FXX sitcom It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Danny earned a Tony Award nomination for Best Featured Actor in a Play in 2017, for his performance in the Broadway revival of Arthur Miller’s The Price. As a producer, he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture for Erin Brockovich.

Don’t forget to check our collection of Georgia O’Keeffe quotes and Keanu Reeves quotes to inspire and motivate you.

Best Danny DeVito Quotes

  1. “I’ll tell you one thing, it’s a cruel, cruel world.” – Danny DeVito                                                                     

    Danny DeVito Quotes
    Danny DeVito Quotes

  2. “A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.” – Danny DeVito


  3. “The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.” – Danny DeVito                                         

    Quotes By Danny DeVito
    Quotes By Danny DeVito

  4. “I climbed like a billion stairs… its not like I can take them two at a time.” – Danny DeVito


  5. “I don’t know how many years on this earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.” – Danny DeVito                                                                                                                                                                                 

    Best Danny DeVito Quotes
    Best Danny DeVito Quotes

  6. “We don’t even know if we’re in this room. We could be in a turtle’s dream in outer space.” – Danny DeVito                                                                                                                                                                           

    Quotes From Danny DeVito
    Quotes From Danny DeVito

  7. “Funny thing about change, It’s like pulling off a bandage. Hurts like hell when you do it. But you always feel better after.” – Danny DeVito


  8. “In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.” – Danny DeVito


  9. “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” – Danny DeVito


  10. “It’s fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you’re not safe, when you’re not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.” – Danny DeVito

Funny Danny DeVito Quotes And Sayings

  1. Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.” – Danny DeVito

  2. “Fill me up with cream. Turn me into cannoli.” – Danny DeVito


  3. “Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it money.” – Danny DeVito                                                         

    Funny Danny DeVito Quotes
    Funny Danny DeVito Quotes

  4. “Life is a game, whoever has the most money at the end wins.” – Danny DeVito                                                       

    Danny DeVito Quotes Images
    Danny DeVito Quotes Images

  5. “We set the building on fire, you just happened to catch on fire!” – Danny DeVito                                       

    Danny DeVito Funny Quotes
    Danny DeVito Funny Quotes

  6. “I’m always studying and I’ve been doing it for a long time now.” – Danny DeVito


  7. “I’ll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy’s hilarious.” – Danny DeVito


  8. “A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.” – Danny DeVito


  9. “What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.” – Danny DeVito                   

    Danny DeVito Quotes Memes
    Danny DeVito Quotes Memes

  10. “A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.” – Danny DeVito


  11. “I’m not gonna be buried in a grave. When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash.” – Danny DeVito


  12. “I think of all the characters that I’ve ever played, they’re always about five feet tall.” – Danny DeVito


  13. “I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.” – Danny DeVito


  14. “Drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance, a beautiful dance with a chain saw.” – Danny DeVito


  15. “People would say to me, ‘Why don’t you do Broadway?’ and my big joke was, nah, the dressing rooms are too small.” – Danny DeVito


  16. “You have to give people permission to laugh. That’s why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.” – Danny DeVito


  17. “Of course I’ve got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I’ve got em ’cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.” – Danny DeVito


  18. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Danny DeVito


  19. “I’ve been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It’s a tower, and it’s leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.” – Danny DeVito


  20. “I like a good banana peel, I like all of that. I was raised on the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, which is a little cruel. It’s kind of like, in a way, dark.” – Danny DeVito

Inspirational Danny DeVito Quotes And Lines

  1. “The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.” – Danny DeVito                                                                   

    Danny DeVito Inspirational Quotes
    Danny DeVito Inspirational Quotes

  2. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Danny DeVito


  3. “I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.” – Danny DeVito


  4. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” – Danny DeVito                   

    Motivational Danny DeVito Quotes
    Motivational Danny DeVito Quotes

  5. “Even if one doesn’t smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.” – Danny DeVito


  6. “Wherever I am, it’s a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don’t shy away from it.” – Danny DeVito


  7. “There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won’t stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won’t go?” – Danny DeVito


  8. “People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that’s life.” – Danny DeVito


  9. “I didn’t do it because of the underlying greed that’s prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.” – Danny DeVito


  10. “You just throw the dice and you get lucky. And I surround myself with smart folks—usually young smart folks. It’s good to be thought of in a good light, to have a little bit of clout, but you can’t carry the ball all by yourself. You need a team.” – Danny DeVito

Danny DeVito Quotes From Movies

  1. “Getting old is a gift.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Jumanji: The Next Level’

  2. “Since you’re an educator, I’ll make you a deal.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  3. “What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  4. “Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  5. “Yes. You tend the elephants. Make those ears disappear!” – Danny DeVito, ‘Dumbo’


  6. “Never do anything I tell you, without checking with me first.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Dumbo’


  7. “There is no winning! Only degrees of losing!” – Danny DeVito, ‘The War Of The Roses’


  8. “Dinner time is family time. What is this trash you’re reading?” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  9. “You’re making people happy. That’s no small thing.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Animal Crackers’


  10. “I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’                 

    Danny DeVito Matilda Quotes
    Danny DeVito Matilda Quotes

  11. “If you’re being smart with me, young lady, you’re going to be punished.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  12. “You’re a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Now sit up and look at the TV.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  13. “You can change all the laws you want. You can’t stop the game.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Other People’s Money’


  14. “There’s nothing you can get from a book that you can’t get from a television faster.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’


  15. “I robbed a thief! How can you not see the humor in that?” – Danny DeVito, ‘What’s The Worst That Could Happen?’


  16. “Well, that’s it. The last check is written. What do we have left out of the $50,000 reward?” – Danny DeVito, ‘Twins’


  17. “Julius, don’t do this to me! I got a car to deliver! The last thing I need is a detour to the slammer!” – Danny DeVito, ‘Twins’


  18. “Welcome to the Medici Family circus where we believe no wild animals shall be held in captivity.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Dumbo’


  19. “I didn’t go to college. I don’t know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha…” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda


  20. “In a manner of speaking, yes. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.” – Danny DeVito, ‘Matilda’

Famous Danny DeVito Quotes

  1. “I am self-centred. I just adore myself.” – Danny DeVito

  2. “America’s racist, so what do you expect.” – Danny DeVito

  3. “It’s a first for me. It’s my first nude scene.” – Danny DeVito

  4. “My life is a lie! Someone’s gonna get stabbed!” – Danny DeVito

  5. “Thus, demonstrating that I have a monster dong.” – Danny DeVito

  6. “What would a smarter person than me do Then do it.” – Danny DeVito

  7. “You gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get in this boy’s hole.” – Danny DeVito

  8. “Lemme get it straight. You’ve just realised you have two ears?” – Danny DeVito

  9. “I love women. I mean, I’m married, but I used to get in all kinds of trouble.” – Danny DeVito

  10. “[It] gives kids a chance to have a great time in the summer, and act like kids.” – Danny DeVito

  11. “I stole a bunch of guns! I’m testing them out, Charles! This revolution is gonna make us a fortune!” – Danny DeVito

  12. “After you’ve lived with somebody for 11 years, what’s a guy in a robe reading from a book going to change?” – Danny DeVito

  13. “If it’s true journalism, you shouldn’t be paying for it. ‘m always studying and I’ve been doing it for a long time.” – Danny DeVito

  14. “We did ‘Erin Brockovich,’ we did ‘Man on the Moon,’ we did ‘Living Out Loud,’ but now I’m going to keep going.” – Danny DeVito

  15. “Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.” – Danny DeVito

  16. “I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that’s what I like to do.” – Danny DeVito

  17. “I’ll tell you one thing. I love Philadelphia. One of the first things I did outside of New York was at the Theater of the Living Arts on South Street.” – Danny DeVito

  18. “My parents worked their tails off, but we weren’t the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.” – Danny DeVito

  19. “It’s unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country. We’re living in a country that discriminates, and has certain racist tendencies.” – Danny DeVito


  20. “Edward’s the kind of actor who is always nosing into it, trying to find it, looking for it, and searching and Robin is, too, but in his own way.” – Danny DeVito


  21. “You look at that baby (elephant) and it’s just… you melt. When you see this movie, bring a Kleenex. But it’s a good movie, it’s funny and happy, dumbo.” – Danny DeVito

  22. “Well, you know, I feel like it’s about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.” – Danny DeVito

  23. “What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark – things that I like to do.” – Danny DeVito

  24. “The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.” – Danny DeVito

  25. “There’s nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who’s smart and attractive; we have to pretend you’re both!” – Danny DeVito, (Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

    Always Sunny Danny DeVito Quotes
    Always Sunny Danny DeVito Quotes

Daniel Michael DeVito Jr., popularly known as Danny DeVito, was born on November 17, 1944, in Neptune Township, New Jersey. He was born in a middle-class family and his father, Daniel DeVito Sr., was a small business owner. He is of Italian descent but was raised as a Catholic in the United States.

Apart from being an actor, DeVito along with Michael Shamberg founded the production company Jersey Films, which is known for films such as Pulp Fiction, Garden State, and Freedom Writers. He also owned Jersey Television, which produced Reno 911!, the Comedy Central series.

Some of his famous movies include One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975), Terms of Endearment (1983), Throw Momma from the Train (1987), Twins (1988), The War of the Roses (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Get Shorty (1995), Matilda (1996), L.A. Confidential (1997), Man on the Moon (1999), and Jumanji: The Next Level (2019).

Danny DeVito has amassed a lot of fans for his versatile range of work as an actor and producer that spans the stage, television, and film. He has received several awards for acting and producing.

If you like these hilarious Danny DeVito quotations then check out our greatest collection of Steel Magnolias quotes and It’s A Wonderful Life quotes that will help you change your perspective on life.

What are your favorite Danny DeVito quotes and lines? Do you have any other inspirational quotes to add? Tell us in the comment section below.

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