30 Billy Madison Quotes That Never Get Old To Make You Laugh

Billy Madison is a classic American comedy film directed by Tamara Davis and starring Adam Sandler in the titular role. It is best known for its slapstick comedy, crazy humor, and Sandler’s comedic style. Whether you are an Adam Sandler fan or not, you’ll surely love reading these best Billy Madison quotes.

The movie follows the story of an immature, childish, and spoiled 27-year-old boy, Billy Madison, who is born to a tycoon Brian Madison, owner of 650 hotel chains, Madison Hotels.

Billy never had to work hard for anything in life because his father has always looked after whatever he needed until he crossed all limits of creating disturbances by acting obnoxiously in his father’s important dinner meeting.

This leads him to lose credibility in front of his father’s eyes and now Billy has to prove himself worthy of inheriting his father’s business.

Billy must repeat grades 1 through 12 in just a few weeks to prove his father and others that he is capable of taking over the family empire. And that’s when all the fun begins.

The movie explores themes of responsibility, personal growth, and value of education, all presented in a lighthearted and comedic way.

Billy Madison has become a cult classic and is remembered for its dialogues, memorable characters, and Adam Sandler’s comedic performance.

Here are the best Billy Madison quotes and memorable Billy Madison sayings that will surely make you laugh out loud.

Top 10 Billy Madison Quotes

  1. “Stop looking at me, Swan!” — Billy Madison
  2. “I am the smartest man alive!” — Billy Madison                               

    Best Billy Madison Quotes
    Best Billy Madison Quotes
  3. “I hate cursive and I hate all of you!” — Billy Madison                       

    Billy Madison Quotes
    Billy Madison Quotes
  4. “Chlorophyll? More like bore-ophyll.” — Billy Madison
  5. “You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants!” — Billy Madison              

    Billy Madison Movie Quotes
    Billy Madison Movie Quotes
  6. “You fallin’ in love with the wall or somethin?” — Billy Madison
  7. “It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.” — Billy Madison

    Quotes From Billy Madison
    Quotes From Billy Madison
  8. “Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.” — Billy Madison    

    Funny Billy Madison Quotes
    Funny Billy Madison Quotes
  9. “Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can.” — Billy Madison
  10. “Hey kids, it’s me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head!” — Billy Madison

Best Billy Madison Quotes

  1. “T-T-T-Today Jr!” — Billy Madison
  2. “Tallahoo-hoo. Sabadoo.” — Billy Madison
  3. “Now you’re all in big, big trouble.” — Billy Madison
  4. “I bet that snack pack is pretty good huh?” — Billy Madison
  5. “Couch. C-o-r- you going to the mall later?” — Billy Madison
  6. “Feel those kicks? He’s gonna be a soccer player. He is. He iiii-iissss!” — Billy Madison
  7. “O’Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family’s going down. But right now, I gotta study.” — Billy Madison
  8. “Well, I made the duck blue because I’d never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.” — Billy Madison
  9. “Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Oh! Back to school… back to school… back to school. Well, here goes nothing.” — Billy Madison
  10. “No, I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the Chlorophyll.” — Billy Madison

Funny Billy Madison Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

  1. “Lady, you’re scaring us.” — Billy Madison
  2. “You know how badly I could beat you, right?” — Billy Madison
  3. “Okay, a simple ‘wrong’ would’ve done just fine.” — Billy Madison
  4. “O’Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is goin’ down.” — Billy Madison
  5. “Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: R-O-K?” — Billy Madison
  6. “That’s not fair. Rizzuto’s not a word. He’s a baseball player. You’re cheating.” — Billy Madison
  7. “High school is great. I mean I’m learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It’s great.” — Billy Madison
  8. “Give me one more chance, I’ll prove I can take over. I’ll do anything it takes. I’ll go back to high school and take the exams again, and I’ll get the diploma all by myself.” — Billy Madison
  9. “Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest. Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.” — Billy Madison
  10. “The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think, “You got a pet. You got a responsibility.” If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits.” — Billy Madison


What are your favorite Billy Madison quotes and Billy Madison sayings listed above? If there are any other inspirational quotes that we’ve missed then let us know in the comments section below.

If you like these memorable and funny Billy Madison quotes, you can also check our collection of Steel Magnolias quotes and Blood In Blood Out quotes.

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