90 Best SpongeBob Quotes On Love, Life & Friendship

Looking for some humorous one-liners from your fav SpongeBob? We have rounded up the best collection of SpongeBob quotes, sayings, catchphrases, one-liners, and funny captions (with images and pictures) to tickle your funny bone.

He’s absorbent! He is Yelllow and he is our Favorite! Since bringing his nautical nonsense into our lives in 1999 on Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants has gone on to become a worldwide phenomenon.

The series, which is still running today, turning kids crazy after them has turned a little pants-wearing sponge into a billion dollar industry.

Top 10 SpongeBob Quotes And Sayings

  1. “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton

  2. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob

  3. “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star

  4. “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks

  5. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” – Patrick Star

  6. “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – Spongebob

  7. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – Spongebob

  8. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)” – SpongeBob

  9. “If you believe in yourself, with a tiny pinch of magic all your dreams can come true!” – SpongeBob

  10. “No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob

Best SpongeBob Squarepants Quotes

  1. “I’m ready, I’m ready.” – SpongeBob

  2. “We paid nine dollars for this?” – Puff

  3. “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob

  4. “Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward

  5. “Is mayonnaise an instrument.” – Patrick

  6. “Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos.” – Patrick

  7. “F is for friends who do stuff together!” – SpongeBob

  8. “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star

  9. “A five letter word for happiness…money.” – Mr. Krabs

  10. “I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward

  11. “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick

  12. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick

  13. “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton

  14. “Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick

  15. “We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs

  16. “Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick Star

  17. “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star

  18. “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – Spongebob

  19. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward

  20. “Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…smelly.” – Mr. Krabs

  21. “I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss.” – SpongeBob

  22. “I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” – Squidward

  23. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright.” – Spongebob

  24. “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob

  25. “After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.” – Squidward

Funny Spongebob Quotes Of All Time

  1. “That’s a big boot.” – Patrick Star

  2. “I’m a good noodle!” – SpongeBob

  3. “But it’s my only night to be fancy!” – Squidward

  4. “Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me.” – Patrick Star

  5. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – Spongebob

  6. “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – Spongebob

  7. “Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads.” – Spongebob

  8. “One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?” – Squidward

  9. “That’s it mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton

  10. “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob

  11. “The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time!” – SpongeBob

  12. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob

  13. “We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” – Patrick Star

  14. “Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob

  15. “We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob

  16. “A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.” – SpongeBob

  17. “Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty.” – SpongeBob

  18. “It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon-scented. This Plan Z can’t possibly fail!” – Plankton

  19. “Karen, baby, I haven’t felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!” – Plankton

  20. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours!” – Squidward

  21. “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator

  22. “Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick Star

  23. “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Krabs

  24. “It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE!” – Krabs

  25. “His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something!” – Plankton

  26. “I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob

  27. “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs

  28. “There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front.” – Patrick Star

  29. “I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!” – Patrick Star

  30. “Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs’ success. The formula for the Krabby Patty…Ohhh…Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I’ve tried. I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet…from A to Y!” – Plankton

Best SpongeBob and Patrick Quotes

  1. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – Spongebob

  2. “Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob

  3. “You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one.” – Patrick Star

  4. “Patrick: Are they laughing at us? Spongebob: No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.” – Spongebob & Patrick

  5. “Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call ‘Mom’? SpongeBob: No Patrick, that’s your mother.” – SpongeBob and Patrick

  6. “Spongebob: “What do you usually do when I’m gone? Patrick: waiting for you to come back.” – SpongeBob and Patrick

  7. “Spongebob: Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird. Patrick: No, Spongebob, that’s Italian.” – SpongeBob and Patrick

  8. “Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.” – Spongebob & Patrick

  9. “Spongebob: Guess what day today is? Patrick: Annoy Squidward day? Spongebob: No silly! that’s on the 15!” – Spongebob and Patrick

  10. “Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.” – Spongebob and Patrick

  11. “SpongeBob: We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. Patrick: Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!” – Spongebob & Patrick

  12. “Spongebob: Patrick, you’re a genius! Patrick: Yeah, I get called that a lot. Spongebob: What? A genius? Patrick: No, Patrick.” – Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star

  13. “Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world? Spongebob: I do! Patrick: I do! Sandy Cheeks: I do! Squidward: I don’t.” – Sandy Cheeks, Patrick, Spongebob, Squidward, and Mermaid Man

  14. “Squidward: Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic! Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean? Spongebob: I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus. Patrick:Ho, Ho,Ho!’ Spongebob: Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!” – SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick

  15. “SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, I don’t think ‘wumbo’ is a real word. Patrick Star: Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We’ll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It’s first grade SpongeBob!” – SpongeBob and Patrick

SpongeBob Quotations (Dirty n Funny)

  1. “You’re about as ugly as homemade soup!” – Sandy

  2. “I’m hotter than a hickory smoked sausage!” – Sandy

  3. “Yeah, well I’d hate you even if I didn’t hate you.” – Patrick

  4. “Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.” – SpongeBob

  5. “Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy

  6. “You’re nothing but pure evil…just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy

  7. “If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!” – Lord Royal Highness

  8. “No, I’m not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I’m busy planning to rule the world!” – Plankton

  9. “I don’t get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.” – Plankton

  10. “Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn’t prove a thing. I’m as evil as ever, I’ll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula.” – Plankton

Iconic SpongeBob One-Liners

  1. “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton

  2. “Moss always points to civilization.” – SpongeBob

  3. “All I know is fine dining and breathing.” – SpongeBob

  4. “Please come again. When I’m not working.” – Squidward

  5. “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy

  6. “With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob

  7. “The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me.” – Spongebob

  8. “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick Star

  9. “Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob

  10. “Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!” – SpongeBob

  11. “It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!” – SpongeBob

  12. “And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – SpongeBob

  13. “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – Spongebob

  14. “Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob

  15. “Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.” – SpongeBob

Famous Quotes Of SpongeBob Friendship, Love & Life

  1. “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – Spongebob

  2. “Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.” – Squidward

  3. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you ruined everything.” – Squidward

  4. “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” – Squidward

  5. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob

  6. “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

  7. “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob

  8. “I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!” – Spongebob

  9. “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness. Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.” – SpongeBob

  10. “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob



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