Looking for some humorous one-liners from your fav SpongeBob? We have rounded up the best collection of SpongeBob quotes, sayings, catchphrases, one-liners, and funny captions (with images and pictures) to tickle your funny bone.
He’s absorbent! He is Yelllow and he is our Favorite! Since bringing his nautical nonsense into our lives in 1999 on Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants has gone on to become a worldwide phenomenon.
The series, which is still running today, turning kids crazy after them has turned a little pants-wearing sponge into a billion dollar industry.
Top 10 SpongeBob Quotes And Sayings
- “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton
“Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob
“Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star
“Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks
“Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” – Patrick Star
“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – Spongebob
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – Spongebob
“Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)” – SpongeBob
“If you believe in yourself, with a tiny pinch of magic all your dreams can come true!” – SpongeBob
“No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob
Best SpongeBob Squarepants Quotes
- “I’m ready, I’m ready.” – SpongeBob
“We paid nine dollars for this?” – Puff
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob
“Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward
“Is mayonnaise an instrument.” – Patrick
“Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos.” – Patrick
“F is for friends who do stuff together!” – SpongeBob
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star
“A five letter word for happiness…money.” – Mr. Krabs
“I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward
“Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick
“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick
“Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton
“Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick
“We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs
“Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick Star
“Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star
“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – Spongebob
“It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward
“Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…smelly.” – Mr. Krabs
- “I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss.” – SpongeBob
“I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” – Squidward
“If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright.” – Spongebob
“I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob
“After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.” – Squidward
Funny Spongebob Quotes Of All Time
- “That’s a big boot.” – Patrick Star
“I’m a good noodle!” – SpongeBob
“But it’s my only night to be fancy!” – Squidward
“Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me.” – Patrick Star
“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – Spongebob
“Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – Spongebob
“Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads.” – Spongebob
“One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?” – Squidward
“That’s it mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton
“Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob
“The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time!” – SpongeBob
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob
“We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” – Patrick Star
“Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob
“We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob
“A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.” – SpongeBob
“Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty.” – SpongeBob
“It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon-scented. This Plan Z can’t possibly fail!” – Plankton
“Karen, baby, I haven’t felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!” – Plankton
“SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours!” – Squidward
“So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick Star
“Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Krabs
“It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE!” – Krabs
“His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something!” – Plankton
“I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob
“See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs
“There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front.” – Patrick Star
“I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!” – Patrick Star
“Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs’ success. The formula for the Krabby Patty…Ohhh…Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I’ve tried. I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet…from A to Y!” – Plankton
Best SpongeBob and Patrick Quotes
- “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – Spongebob
“Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob
“You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one.” – Patrick Star
“Patrick: Are they laughing at us? Spongebob: No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.” – Spongebob & Patrick
“Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call ‘Mom’? SpongeBob: No Patrick, that’s your mother.” – SpongeBob and Patrick
“Spongebob: “What do you usually do when I’m gone? Patrick: waiting for you to come back.” – SpongeBob and Patrick
“Spongebob: Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird. Patrick: No, Spongebob, that’s Italian.” – SpongeBob and Patrick
“Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.” – Spongebob & Patrick
“Spongebob: Guess what day today is? Patrick: Annoy Squidward day? Spongebob: No silly! that’s on the 15!” – Spongebob and Patrick
“Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.” – Spongebob and Patrick
“SpongeBob: We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. Patrick: Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!” – Spongebob & Patrick
“Spongebob: Patrick, you’re a genius! Patrick: Yeah, I get called that a lot. Spongebob: What? A genius? Patrick: No, Patrick.” – Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star
“Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world? Spongebob: I do! Patrick: I do! Sandy Cheeks: I do! Squidward: I don’t.” – Sandy Cheeks, Patrick, Spongebob, Squidward, and Mermaid Man
“Squidward: Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic! Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean? Spongebob: I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus. Patrick:Ho, Ho,Ho!’ Spongebob: Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!” – SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick
“SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, I don’t think ‘wumbo’ is a real word. Patrick Star: Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We’ll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It’s first grade SpongeBob!” – SpongeBob and Patrick
SpongeBob Quotations (Dirty n Funny)
- “You’re about as ugly as homemade soup!” – Sandy
“I’m hotter than a hickory smoked sausage!” – Sandy
“Yeah, well I’d hate you even if I didn’t hate you.” – Patrick
“Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.” – SpongeBob
“Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy
“You’re nothing but pure evil…just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy
“If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!” – Lord Royal Highness
“No, I’m not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I’m busy planning to rule the world!” – Plankton
“I don’t get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.” – Plankton
“Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn’t prove a thing. I’m as evil as ever, I’ll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula.” – Plankton
Iconic SpongeBob One-Liners
- “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton
“Moss always points to civilization.” – SpongeBob
“All I know is fine dining and breathing.” – SpongeBob
“Please come again. When I’m not working.” – Squidward
“Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy
“With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob
“The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me.” – Spongebob
“I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick Star
“Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob
“Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!” – SpongeBob
“It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!” – SpongeBob
“And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – SpongeBob
“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – Spongebob
“Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob
“Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.” – SpongeBob
Famous Quotes Of SpongeBob Friendship, Love & Life
- “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – Spongebob
“Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.” – Squidward
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you ruined everything.” – Squidward
“Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” – Squidward
“Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob
“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs
“You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob
“I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!” – Spongebob
“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness. Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.” – SpongeBob
“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob
