We have rounded up the best collection of Joke Of The Day For Work, funny work quotes, work puns, humorous work one-liners, memes, and a lot more hilarious stuff to make you laugh out loud and lighten up when at work.
As the popular saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. So what can be better than some crazy and funny work quotes to sail through a heavy day at the office? The work pressure, monotony, and boredom take away your zeal to work.
And some funny jokes of the day and hilarious jokes for the workplace about the boss, coworkers, and routine can be great to uplift your mood. These workplace jokes are clean, corny, and funny, and will surely make you laugh and giggle.
We have divided these funny workplace quotes into these sections;
Funny Joke Of The Day For Work
Hilarious Work Jokes
Jokes For Work
Clean Jokes For Work
Don’t forget to check out our collection of lame jokes and best dad jokes which are not only funny, but they are also pretty clever and witty.
Funny Joke Of The Day For Work
Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Why a computer was late at work? He had a slow, hard drive.
I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
Sunday and Monday are in a fight. who wins? Sunday. Monday is a weekday.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Why did you leave your last job? The company relocated and didn’t tell me where.
Getting dressed for work is so stressful. Should I put on yoga pants or sweatpants?
My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets. I told him I Excel at it.
I like working from home. It’s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem. I just can’t see myself working today.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. So I put my paycheck as the first slide.
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
My boss calls me “The computer” Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise…. My boss asked “what companies? “ Gas, water and electricity company.
Boss: Can you work this weekend? Me: Yeah no worries but I’ll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends. Boss: What time will you get here? Me: Monday.
Employer: We need someone responsible for the job. Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma’s funeral, she called the office looking for you.
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?” The man says “I’m probably too honest.” The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.” The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”
Hilarious Work Jokes
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
A hard thing about a business is minding your own.
Work, really? Again? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?
I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I like my job only marginally more than I like being homeless.
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
What did the supervisor say to the calendar? Your days are numbered.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.
Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions!
The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Hey Boss, I hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Some would say that I nailed it.
I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.
If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays? Me: It’s my weekend immune system.
I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
What did the nearsighted optometrist say when he was sick? I can’t see myself coming in today.
My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
My boss said I was going to see a big increase on my Pay slip this month… He increased the font size.
A camel can work for a whole week without drinking. A man can drink for a whole week without working.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it’s only Wednesday.
Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
The reason we “nod off to sleep” is so it looks like we’re just emphatically agreeing with everything when we’re in a boring meeting.
I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said yes, if I made up the time. I said “sure, it’s twenty past fourteen.”.
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”
A supervisor’s comment on an employee evaluation. He’s never been very successful. When opportunity knocks, he complains about the noise.
An employee asks his boss, “Can I have two weeks off for Christmas?” His boss replied, “It’s May…”, to which the employee responded, “Oh, sorry. May I have two weeks off for Christmas?”
Employee: Boss I am unable to come to work today due to heavy rains, I live in an island now. Boss: In your job application you mentioned swimming as one of your hobbies. See you at work!
Corny Jokes For Work
Interesting and hilarious jokes about the workplace, pay-checks, colleagues and funny work one-liners are very popular amongst co-workers.
With serious pun intended, mixed with wit and sarcasm is what makes these work jokes so interesting. If you feel bored in your office, share these crazy work jokes with your friends and family and enjoy having fun with these relatable and appropriate work jokes.
I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.
It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
You work 40 hours a week. I remember my first part-time job too.
Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.
If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day? Went home.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field!
When it comes to work, change is inevitable, except from the vending machine.
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my Word!
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when he went the extra mile.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Why did she quit her job at the helium factory? She refused to be talked to in that voice.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Anything that could possibly go wrong often does – as well as a thing or two that couldn’t possibly.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
The boss frowns on anyone yelling: “Hey Weirdo!” He says too many people look up from their work.
Things really haven’t gotten worse. We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Monday.. But don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Clean Jokes For Work
When in doubt, mumble.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
With a calendar, your days are numbered.
It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
I don’t work on Monday’s, I make appearances.
Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
What do you call a magician who lost their magic? Ian.
Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
Asking how my day at work went is like asking how a drive-by shooting went… I’m just lucky I got out alive!
Today is Wednesday which means tomorrow is Pre Friday which means the next day is Friday, so it’s basically Friday.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
What are your fav jokes on the list above? Read on to find these funny quotes on silliness that will make you happy and cheerful and will lower your stress levels for sure.
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I am Ananya a Graduate from Holmes College Sydney. I am a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspire them to pursue their dreams. I have been an active contributor to The Random Vibez from last 2 years. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better.