Check out the best Wedding Crashers quotes that bring endless laughs, unforgettable one-liners, and outrageous charm from one of the funniest comedies of the 2000s. From ridiculous “rules” of crashing weddings to heartfelt lines about love and friendship, these quotes capture everything fans love about the movie.
Wedding Crashers is a 2005 American romantic comedy film directed by David Dobkin and starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.
The film follows John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey — two best friends who crash weddings to meet women, enjoy free food, and have a good time.
Their over-the-top adventures take an unexpected turn when they attend the high-profile wedding of the US Secretary of the Treasury’s daughter and meet the Cleary family.
John falls for the charming Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams), while Jeremy ends up in a hilariously complicated and awkward romance with Gloria Cleary (Isla Fisher).
Packed with laugh-out-loud moments, lightning-fast banter, and iconic side characters like the eccentric Chazz (Will Ferrell), Wedding Crashers became an instant cult classic and one of the most quotable films of its time.
The movie smashed box office records, grossing over $285 million worldwide, and became the first R-rated comedy to earn $200 million domestically.
Here are the most famous and funniest Wedding Crashers quotes that will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even believe in love — crashers’ style.
Top 10 Wedding Crashers Quotes
- “I’m just living the dream.” – John Beckwith
- “Death, you are my bitch lover!” — Todd Cleary
- “Don’t ever leave me…’Cause I’d find you!” — Gloria Cleary
- “Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.” – Jeremy Grey
- “Yeah! Crab cakes and football. That’s what Maryland does!” — Flip
- “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!” — Mrs. Kroeger
- “True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” — Claire Cleary
- “I’m sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don’t even know what that meant.” — John Beckwith
- “You’re like that crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already.” — Claire Cleary
- “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.” — John Beckwith
Best Wedding Crashers Movie Quotes And One-Liners
- “Mom! The meat loaf!” – Chazz Reinhold
- “I got a stage five clinger.” — Jeremy Grey
- “It’s wedding season, kid!” — Jeremy Grey
- “It’s like fishing with dynamite.” — Jeremy Grey
- “I’m a little too traumatized to have a scone.” — Jeremy Grey
- “We all know the rules. It’s about having fun.” — Jeremy Grey
- “I almost nunchucked you; you don’t even realize!” — Chazz Reinhold
- “Whatever. Make me a bicycle, clown.” — Young boy at the wedding reception
- “Don’t waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.” — John Beckwith
- “I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.” — Jeremy Grey
- “Oh, that’s terrific! Why don’t you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.” — Jeremy Grey
- “I made you a painting. I call it “Celebration.” It’s sexual and violent. I thought you might like it.” — Todd Cleary
- “So damn beautiful! With every death, there comes rebirth, it’s the circle of life. We’re gonna be all right.” — Chazz Reinhold
- “Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I’ve seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!” — William Cleary
- “Love doesn’t exist, that’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. And I’m not picking on love, ‘cause I don’t think friendship exists either.” — John Beckwith
Funny Quotes From Wedding Crashers Quotes
- “Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal.” — Jeremy Grey
- “Todd, that’s good! Tell that mean ocean!” — Secretary William Cleary
- “Who gives a sh*t? It’s a great band, it’s a bad band, it’s like pizza, baby.” — Jeremy Grey
- “This is the real world, lady! You can’t just go shooting people on a whim!” — Jeremy Grey
- “This congregation really doesn’t care about how depressing your life is, John.” — Sack Lodge
- “You ready for some football? You want the noise brought on you because here it comes.” — Flip
- “Yeah, her boyfriend just died. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident! What an idiot.” – Chazz Reinhold
- “What are you doing? It’s a game of touch football, every time I look over, you’re on your ass again.” – John Beckwith
- “I’m just warming up. Last week I did an exact [balloon] replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don’t have anywhere to put it.” — Jeremy Grey
- “Of course, like all kids, I had imaginary friends. But not just one. I had hundreds and hundreds and all of them from different backgrounds who spoke different languages. One of them, his name was Caleb. He spoke a magical language only I could understand. [Starts speaking made-up language]” — Gloria Cleary
Famous Wedding Crashers Movie Quotes
- “Let’s play tummy sticks.” – Todd Cleary, (Wedding Crashers)
- “You better lock it up.” — John Beckwith, (Wedding Crashers)
- “A friend in need is a pest.” — Bobby Heenan, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Grow up Peter Pan—Count Chocula.” — John Beckwith, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Grief is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac.” — Chazz Reinhold, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Get on in here, let the big bear get his paws on ya.” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s eye.” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “You’re unbelievable. Judas! Rule number five: You’re an idiot.” — John Beckwith, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner here.” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Last week I made, to scale, a balloon model of Wrigley Field. I don’t have anywhere to put it.” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a b*tch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “Yeah. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! ‘Ahh! I’m hang-gliding! Honey, take a good picture…I’m dead!’ What a freak.” — Chazz Reinhold, (Wedding Crashers)
- “We are gonna have tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that are so aroused by the thought of marriage that they’ll throw their inhibitions to the wind.” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
- “I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?” — Jeremy Grey, (Wedding Crashers)
Conclusion
What are your favorite Wedding Crashers quotes and Wedding Crashers sayings listed above? If there is a quote that we’ve missed, then let us know in the comments section what your thoughts are.
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