Check out the best W.C. Fields quotes and sayings that reflect his timeless humor, sarcasm, and wisdom about life, love, and human nature.
W.C. Fields, born William Claude Dukenfield in 1880, was an American comedian, actor, juggler, and writer known for his quick wit and sarcastic humor.
With his distinctive drawl, deadpan delivery, and quick one-liners, he became one of the most recognizable figures in early Hollywood comedy.
Spanning vaudeville, silent films, and Hollywood’s golden era, Fields’ legendary career included classics like It’s a Gift, The Bank Dick, and My Little Chickadee.
His comedic style often poked fun at human flaws, everyday struggles, and society’s absurdities in a way that made people laugh and think at the same time.
Even decades later, W.C. Fields remains a symbol of classic comedy, inspiring generations with his larger-than-life personality, charm, and unmatched delivery.
Here are the most famous W.C. Fields quotes that continue to make people laugh, reflect, and appreciate the genius of classic comedy.
Top 10 W.C. Fields Quotes
- “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” — W. C. Fields
- “A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” — W. C. Fields
- “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.” — W. C. Fields
- “Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.” — W. C. Fields
- “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.” — W. C. Fields
- “Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.” — W. C. Fields
- “Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.” — W. C. Fields
- “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.” — W. C. Fields
- “You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.” — W. C. Fields
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” — W. C. Fields
Best W.C. Fields Quotes
- “Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.” — W. C. Fields
- “I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.” — W. C. Fields
- “It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” — W. C. Fields
- “Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.” — W. C. Fields
- “I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.” — W. C. Fields
- “I drink with impunity…or anyone else who invites me.” — W. C. Fields
- “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W. C. Fields
- “It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.” — W. C. Fields
- “I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit- forming.” — W. C. Fields
- “I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.” — W. C. Fields
- “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” — W. C. Fields
- “Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” — W. C. Fields
- “A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” — W. C. Fields
- “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” — W. C. Fields
- “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.” — W. C. Fields
Famous Quotes From W.C. Fields
- “Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.” — W. C. Fields
- “Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.” — W. C. Fields
- “I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.” — W. C. Fields
- “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” — W. C. Fields
- “Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it… Get plenty of sleep.” — W. C. Fields
- “I’ve been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.” — W. C. Fields
- “I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.” — W. C. Fields
- “When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.” — W. C. Fields
- “I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.” — W. C. Fields
- “Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.” — W. C. Fields
- “The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.” — W. C. Fields
- “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.” — W. C. Fields
- “So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.” — W. C. Fields
- “In the ten years since I had run away from home…I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.” — W. C. Fields
- “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.” — W. C. Fields
Conclusion
What are your favorite W. C. Fields quotes and W. C. Fields sayings listed above? If there is a quote that we’ve missed, then let us know in the comments section what your thoughts are.
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