40 Kenny Powers Quotes From Eastbound & Down

Kenny Powers is the fictional protagonist of the hit HBO television comedy series Eastbound & Down, known for his larger-than-life personality, short temper, and constant pursuit of fame and success. Here are the best Kenny Powers quotes that inspire confidence, resilience, and determination to confront difficulties head-on.

The character of Kenny Powers is created by Ben Best, Jody Hill, and Danny McBride and is brilliantly played by Danny McBride.

Kenny Powers is portrayed as a famous baseball pitcher who is known for his poor work ethic, ego, and short temper. His professional career took a crash-dive due to personal and professional issues, especially his arrogant and egoistical nature.

After his successful career going for a toss, Powers is forced to return to his hometown in North Carolina and take a job as a temporary physical education teacher.

Despite thinking very highly of himself, Kenny faces the challenges of rebuilding his life and finding a way back to the glory he once enjoyed on the baseball field.

Kenny Powers with his oversized personality, love for swearing, and super strong self-confidence has become more than just a television character. He has become a part of everyday life and popular culture.

Here are the best Kenny Powers quotes that will inspire you to embrace your uniqueness and resist conforming to expectations.

Top 10 Kenny Powers Quotes

  1. “There’s no better feeling than winning.” — Kenny Powers        

    Kenny Powers Quotes
    Kenny Powers Quotes
  2. “I’m sober and ready to destroy the competitions.” — Kenny Powers       

    Best Kenny Powers Quotes
    Best Kenny Powers Quotes
  3. “If you’ve got something you want to say, then just say it.” — Kenny Powers  

    Kenny Powers Quotes From Eastbound & Down
    Kenny Powers Quotes From Eastbound & Down
  4. “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising. F*ck this guy.” — Kenny Powers
  5. “Stay in school. Fight the power. Don’t do drugs. Unless, of course, you’re doing them with me.” — Kenny Powers   

    Quotes From Kenny Powers
    Quotes From Kenny Powers
  6. “I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight… the coaches and owners not giving me the sh*t I need to win.” — Kenny Powers
  7. “I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin’ nothin’, and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there.” — Kenny Powers
  8. “Kenny Powers is a man. Kenny Powers is an athlete. Kenny Powers is a lover. But the most he is, I mean, the thing that Kenny Powers is the most, is a goddamn champion.” — Kenny Powers
  9. “Oddly enough, the people here aren’t that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every fuckin’ meal.” — Kenny Powers
  10. “Ask anybody out there, and they’ll tell you that the foundation of a great baseball player starts with an understanding of some basic fundamentals: running, stretching, physical conditioning. These are the things that prepare your body for the many challenges a baseball player faces.” — Kenny Powers

Best Quotes By Kenny Powers

  1. “Why give 100% when 35% will get you paid and laid.” — Kenny Powers
  2. “Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jackass you think of me, OK?” — Kenny Powers
  3. “When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom.” — Kenny Powers
  4. “Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no-no!” — Kenny Powers
  5. “I can’t believe I opened up my heart up to that bitch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it.” — Kenny Powers
  6. “There have been many comebacks throughout history… Well, my comeback is almost complete, and I can say that, when it is complete, it will shake the pillars of this land or town.’” — Kenny Powers
  7. “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.” — Kenny Powers
  8. “How does any genius figure out his inventions? I mean, how did Leonardo DiCaprio figure out about gravity? ‘Cause the bitch was sleepin’ underneath a tree and an apple hit him on his head.” — Kenny Powers
  9. “Toby, what do you want from me? I’ve been super cool to you. I’ve given you a bowl of Chex Mix and some water. Why are you making curses upon me? If I give you a toy, will that erase the curse?” — Kenny Powers
  10. “In most of nature, the alpha is the strongest of the pack. Creature of immense strength, large in size, a leader from birth, hippos, bumblebees, Wayans brothers—most of the time, they just look to the biggest amongst them.” – Kenny Powers

Favorite Kenny Powers Quotes

  1. “Listen here, you beautiful bitch. I’m about to fuck you up with some truth.” — Kenny Powers
  2. “I don’t f..k with the devil, and I never do tag- teams with blood relatives, take it easy, old man.” — Kenny Powers
  3. “Remember, there is no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt. So don’t be little jealous cunts, ok?” — Kenny Powers
  4. “Purity – it’s what we all desire, and it is what I’ve come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.” — Kenny Powers
  5. “OK, Toby, here we go, bud. We’re going to put you on the big people’s furniture. Try not to shit all over it, OK?” — Kenny Powers
  6. “It’s no mystery that ass has always been tits’ greatest enemy. It’s almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.” — Kenny Powers
  7. “Why would you do this to me? Here this whole time I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold. Instead you’re just a whore with a real whore’s heart.” — Kenny Powers
  8. “See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn’t matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent.” — Kenny Powers
  9. “I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity’s sweet milk. That’s philosophy, April.” — Kenny Powers
  10. “But to capture the heart of one of your teachers, and take her away from you forever. So at this time I would like the beautiful, the forgiving, the talented, big-chested art teacher, to please step forward.” — Kenny Powers

Quotes By Kenny Powers 

  1. “You named your baby after Titanic? What’s this mother fucker’s name? Shrek?” — Kenny Powers
  2. “It’s like goddamn Cocktoberfest in here. I’m excited too, but let’s not touch dicks, alright?” — Kenny Powers
  3. “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s losing. If there’s two things I hate, it’s losing and getting cancer.” — Kenny Powers
  4. “Did this tale end the way I thought it would? Probably not. But as long as I win, who gives a shit.” — Kenny Powers
  5. “I need to remember that I’m a winner, man. I need to remember that I am better than everyone else.” — Kenny Powers
  6. “God has taken a dump on my face. The love of my life doesn’t want to have sex with me ‘cause she’s marrying some smoothie eatin’ fairy.” — Kenny Powers
  7. “I’ve been blessed with many things in this life—an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a Burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist.” — Kenny Powers
  8. “I’m Kenny Powers! And I am very upset with how I am acting right now. I just have a very hard time expressing my emotions, and I can’t stop from yelling.” — Kenny Powers
  9. “Over the course of my career, I played on many different teams. Some I liked. Some I really fucking hated. I’m not mentioning any names, but let’s just say Seattle can tongue-kiss my shit hole.” — Kenny Powers
  10. “There have been many comebacks throughout history; Jesus was dead, but then came back as an all-powerful God zombie. Ryan O’Neal had his ups and downs, but is now back and better than ever.” — Kenny Powers


What are your favorite Kenny Powers quotes and Kenny Powers sayings listed above? If there are any other inspirational quotes that we’ve missed then let us know in the comments section below.

If you like these memorable and inspirational Kenny Powers quotes, you can also check our collection of Steel Magnolias quotes and Blood In Blood Out quotes.

So, feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, and more.

Share the inspiration with friends & family!