80 Funny International Women’s Day Memes, Jokes, Quotes

On this International Women’s Day 2020, see her in celebration of women and girls all over the world. For confident-boosting quotes, add some fun and humor to send to the special women in your life—and yourself. These funny memes, jokes,  messages, and quotes for International Women’s Day will keep you laughing because a sense of humor is essential when fighting the patriarchy.

Related: Powerful Women’s Day Quotes

With that in mind, we thought that this International Women’s Day, a little levity is in order. So we’ve rounded up some of our favorite Women’s Day memes and jokes. Take a moment to laugh it up — then get back to making this Women’s Day as impactful as possible.

From all of us here, Happy International Women’s Day!

Funny International Women’s Day Quotes 2020

  1. “A woman wears her tears like jewelry.”

  2. “Don’t judge a woman from 100 feet away.”

  3. “How to turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her.”

  4. “I don’t condone wife-beating, but I understand it!”

  5. “A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.”

  6. “For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.”- Virginia Woolf

  7. “I never argue now with a woman, I just take my beating like a man.”

  8. “Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.”

  9. “If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.”

  10. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”- George Carlin

  11. “Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.”- Benny Hill

  12. “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.”- Marilyn Monroe

  13. “Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a nearsighted man.”

  14. “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – By That’s because she changes it more often.”

  15. “God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advice from Eve how to make Adam.”

  16. “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.”-Oscar Wilde

  17. “The secret to winning an argument with a woman: They have to be dead.”- John Betz, Jr.

  18. “On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.”- H.L. Mencken

  19. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”- Chris Rock

  20. “Don’t give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can’t wear in the evening.”

  21. “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.”- Nicole Hollander

  22. “In a perfect world, all of a woman’s issues could be fixed with WD-40 and duct tape.”- Jason Love

  23. “Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.”

  24. “Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.”- Joseph Conrad

  25. “Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell us how wonderful we are.”- Arnold H. Glasow

  26. “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.”- Laurence J. Peter

  27. “All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.”- Mignon McLaughlin

  28. “Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.”- Alfred Lord Tennyson

  29. “A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.”- Mignon McLaughlin

  30. “Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

  31. “As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.”- Oscar Wilde

  32. “I prefer the word homemaker because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”- Bella Abzug

  33. “If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just a couple of nations not talking with each other.”

  34. “A woman may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.”

  35. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

  36. “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.”- Charlotte Whitton

  37. “How to find a wife… Step 1 of 2: Find a woman you like now but you know you’re going to hate in 5 or fewer years. Give her your house.”

  38. “I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.”- Ogden Nash

  39. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.”

  40. “Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item that they don’t need at all.”

  41. “Men are generally more law-abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn’t make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.”

  42. “I wonder why it is, that young man is always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls’ men should be warned against.”

  43. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

  44. “I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”- Gilda Radner

  45. “From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.”- Raymond Chandler

  46. “Sigmund Freud once said, ‘What do women want?’ The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.”- Bill Cosby

  47. “Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?”- Sigmund Freud

  48. “Women are definitely more interested in muscles than a sense of humor. You will never hear a woman say, “I wish Brad Pitt would put his shirt back on and tell some jokes.”- Dave Barry

  49. “It is very difficult to tell a woman where you’re planning to go…Cos’s difficult to answer the rest… WHERE?. WHEN? and FOR WHAT PURPOSE?. And then comes the worst “I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN?”

  50. “A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations- but they all will console themselves with another man.”

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Do you have your favorite women’s quote which is not here? Then write in the comment section below, we’d love to see it and add it to our list.

 

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