Check out the best South Park quotes that capture outrageous humor, brutal honesty, sharp satire, and unforgettable chaos.
South Park is one of the most controversial, long-running, and boldest animated television shows of all time.
Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the series premiered in 1997 and quickly became known for fearless social satire, surreal black comedy, and its unique “6 Days to Air” production cycle.
The series follows the surreal adventures of four elementary school boys — Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado.
Beneath the crude humor lies biting commentary that often reflects uncomfortable truths about the real world.
From its humble beginnings as a cutout animation to its current status as a multibillion-dollar franchise on Paramount+, South Park continues to push boundaries by parodizing current events, celebrity culture, and political trends.
Over the years, South Park has delivered some of the best animated comedy episodes on television, earning critical acclaim, multiple Emmy Awards, and a devoted global fan base.
From Eric Cartman’s iconic one-liners to Randy Marsh’s over-the-top rants and the boys’ brutally honest “I learned something today” speeches, South Park has become legendary in pop culture.
Here are the most famous South Park quotes that continue to shock, entertain, and make audiences laugh decades after the show first aired.
Top 10 South Park Quotes
- “Respect my authoritah!” — Eric Cartman, (South Park)
- “Screw you guys, I’m going home!” — Eric Cartman, (South Park)
- “Don’t lie, Stan. Lying makes you sterile.” — Mr. Garrison, (South Park)
- “Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.” — Eric Cartman, (South Park)
- “There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.” — Chef, (South Park)
- “Sometimes, lying is the only way to protect someone’s feelings.” — Kyle, (South Park)
- “It never fails to amaze me how I manage to overcome adversity.” — Mayor, (South Park)
- “I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’m kind of stoked on life right now.” — Randy, (South Park)
- “Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I’m living proof…”— Eric Cartman, (South Park)
- “Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends.” – Larry/Steve/Gorat, (South Park)
Best South Park Quotes
- “It’s all about moderation.” — Randy, (South Park)
- “I haven’t taken the time to be secure with myself.” — Satan, (South Park)
- “If you want to find some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Don’t you know the first law of physics? Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “All animals kill, and the animals that don’t kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.” — Kyle, (South Park)
- “Well I’m sorry Wendy, but I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die!” — Mr. Garrison, (South Park)
- “When a chick says ‘we need to talk,’ you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “I just realized that there’s a lot of painful times in life so I better learn to deal with it the right way.” — Stan, (South Park)
- “Kenny’s family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.” — Cartman, (South Park)
Funny South Park Quotes
- “I would never let a woman kick my a**.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Cartman doesn’t know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart.” — Stan, (South Park)
- “No, that’s wrong, Cartman. But don’t worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.” — Mr. Garrison, (South Park)
- “Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save the Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Well, I looked in my mom’s closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Don’t be sad, Butters. What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and $10,000 cash.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.” — Kyle, (South Park)
- “As you get older, boobs will start becoming a major part of your life. But you can’t let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there. But they’re just boobs. Your friends are forever.” — Randy, (South Park)
- “You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what’s going on in their kids’ lives, this world would be a much better place.” — Stan, (South Park)
- “We must stop frivolous spending! Instead of paying for cable, let us watch clouds! Instead of buying clothes, wear but sheets from thine beds! Cut spending to only the bare essentials! Water and bread and margaritas!” —Randy, (South Park)
More South Park Quotes
- “Drugs are bad, mmkay?” — Mr. Mackey, (South Park)
- “No, Kitty, this is my pot pie.” — Cartman, (South Park)
- “Operation Human Shield my ass.” — Chef, (South Park)
- “Don’t you dare call me a Cartman!” — Stan, (South Park)
- “I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.” — Eric Cartman, (South Park)
- “All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.” — Stan, (South Park)
- “Hell, everything’s legal in Mexico. It’s the American way!” — Jimbo, (South Park)
- “Well then don’t buy into this fad, Kyle. Be who you are. Not what’s cool.” — Chef, (South Park)
- “It’s simple economics, son. I don’t understand it at all, but, God I love it.” — Randy Marsh, (South Park)
- “Family isn’t about whose blood you have in you. Family’s about the people who cared about you and took care of you. We’re not the same blood, but I love my little brother. We’ve taken care of him because he needed us to, and that makes us more family than anything.” — Kyle, (South Park)
Conclusion
What are your favorite South Park quotes and South Park sayings listed above? If there is a quote that we’ve missed, then let us know in the comments section what your thoughts are.
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