If you ain’t first, you’re last – and if you’re looking for the best Ricky Bobby quotes, you just finished first, my friend. Whether you’re a longtime Talladega Nights fan or just love a good NASCAR laugh, Ricky Bobby’s outrageous one-liners are pure gold.
Will Ferrell’s performance as Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby gave us some of the funniest movie quotes of all time. From absurd confidence to prayer over Domino’s and Powerade sponsorships, this southern-fried race car driver became a comedy legend.
We’ve rounded up the top 30 Ricky Bobby quotes and lines that are still cracking up America nearly two decades later.
Check out the full list of Talladega Nights quotes for more laugh-out-loud lines from Cal, Reese, and Jean Girard.
Top 10 Ricky Bobby Quotes
- “Shake and bake!” — Ricky Bobby
- “I wanna go fast!” — Ricky Bobby
- “Dear Lord Baby Jesus…” — Ricky Bobby
- “Get back, I’ll windmill ya.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Oh hey, I’m Ricky Bobby.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’d love to sign your baby!” — Ricky Bobby
- “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” — Ricky Bobby
- “You can’t have two number ones.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’m just a big, hairy American winning machine.” — Ricky Bobby
- “You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.” — Ricky Bobby
Famous Quotes By Ricky Bobby
- “Please be 18.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’m not sure what to do with my hands.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Man, what the hell are you talking about?” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’m embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Holy moly, that’s like lookin’ up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt!” — Ricky Bobby
- “Susan, you got to watch it when I get into autograph mode.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’m Ricky Bobby. If you don’t chew Big Red, then f–c you.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.” — Ricky Bobby
- “So, that’s why you should use Maypax, the official tampon of NASCAR.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I mean I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.”
- “Absolutely ma’am. I’d love to sign your baby. You’re not gonna want to wash that forehead.”
- “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says like, ‘I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party too.”— Ricky Bobby
- “Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, Jesús, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC and the always delicious Taco Bell.” — Ricky Bobby
Best of Ricky Bobby Quotes From Talladega Nights
- “I felt like I was on a spaceship.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?” — Ricky Bobby
- “It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It’s on sale.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?” — Ricky Bobby
- “Yep, I’m flying through the air. This is not good.” — Ricky Bobby
- “I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’m coming for you.”
- “You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. I mean, that’s just life.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Health care systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.” — Ricky Bobby
- “Well, let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said”… “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” — Ricky Bobby
- “You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand liberty. You don’t understand freedom.” — Ricky Bobby
Conclusion
Talladega Nights isn’t just funny — it’s part of American pop culture. Will Ferrell’s Ricky Bobby taught us about speed, friendship, failure, and the value of a good old-fashioned shake and bake.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly a Ricky Bobby fan. Or at least someone who appreciates a well-timed NASCAR joke. Either way, these Ricky Bobby quotes are perfect for texting your friends, updating your bio, or just yelling at traffic.
Liked this post? Share it with a friend who’s all jacked up on Mountain Dew and tell us your favorite quote in the comments. Or better yet — yell it out at your next BBQ.