Let’s dive into 40 iconic Schitt’s Creek quotes and funny lines that showcase the charm, humor, and brilliance of the series.
Whether you’re a longtime fan or discovering the show for the first time, these quotes will make you laugh, inspire you, and remind you why Schitt’s Creek remains a TV favorite.
Schitt’s Creek is a beloved TV series known for its heart, humor, and unforgettable characters. From the eccentric Moira Rose to the lovable David, Alexis, Johnny, and Stevie, the show is full of witty, heartfelt, and hilarious lines that have captivated audiences worldwide.
Its quotes capture the charm, absurdity, and wisdom of small-town life, blending comedy with moments of genuine emotion. In this article, we’ll explore some of the most memorable and iconic Schitt’s Creek quotes.
Whether you’re laughing at the characters’ sharp comebacks or finding inspiration in their unexpected life lessons, these quotes showcase the humor, heart, and brilliance that have made Schitt’s Creek a modern TV classic.
Top 10 Schitt’s Creek Quotes And Lines
- “So much for the massage.” — Stevie Budd
- “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” —Moira Rose, Season 1
- “I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.” — David Rose, Season 1
- “I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.” — David Rose, Season 3
- “David, you have to stop watching Notting Hill. It’s not helpful for our relationship.” — Patrick Brewer
- “Just think of them as tiny little roommates whose tiny little poops you get to clean up.” — Alexis Rose
- “This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage… I was half expecting early Unabomber.” — Moira Rose
- “I have lost all my skills. And now I know how it feels to be utterly helpless like you and your sister.” — Moira Rose
- “If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it’s that a mother puts her own mask on first.” —Moira Rose
- “Yeah I just feel like the whole session was rushed. Like, there was no back lighting, or emotional direction.” —David Rose
Best Schitt’s Creek Quotes
- “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.” — Moira Rose
- “Very uninterested in that option.” — David Rose, Season 3
- “I haven’t BeDazzled anything since I was 22.” — David Rose, Season 3
- “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is this car your home?” — Moira Rose, Season 2
- “I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.” — David Rose
- “You must prepare for life, and whatever it will throw at you.” – Moira Rose, Season 1 (2015)
- “She sort of fades into the background after a while. You know, like a smoke alarm.” — David
- “I don’t skate through life, David. I walk through life. In really nice shoes.” — Alexis Rose, Season 3
- “You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school.” — Jocelyn Schitt
- “I would hardly call myself an expert on this subject. And by subject, I mean genuine human emotion.” — David Rose
- “He told me he doesn’t want my help, so I’m just going to play the supportive partner and watch him fail.” —David Rose
- “I am suddenly overwhelmed with regret. It’s a new feeling for me, and I don’t find it at all pleasurable.” —Moira Rose, Season 2
- “I have my own holiday tradition. It’s like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it’s one day with 12 bottles of wine.” —Stevie Budd
Funny Schitt’s Creek Quotes
- “Where is bébé’s chamber?” — Moira Rose
- “Love that journey for me.” – Alexis Rose
- “Fold in the cheese.” – David Rose
- “I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” – David Rose
- “There is nothing wrong with asking for what you deserve.” — Alexis Rose
- “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.” — Moira Rose, Season 4
- “I’m only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment.” — Stevie Budd, Season 1
- “What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic. But it was also wrong.” — Moira Rose
- “I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says, you will always be our first dad.” — David Rose
- “John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!” — Moira Rose
- “I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think I’m funny and smart and charming.” — Alexis Rose
- “I Googled that bug. It’s some sort of demonic cricket that takes chunks out of your skin when provoked. ‘Chunks’ is the word that Google used.” — David Rose
- “‘I was served by an intimidating woman at the front desk, with an unrecognizable accent, and scary-looking attire.’ And what might this have to do with me?” — Moira Rose
- “I was perfectly fine not trusting people. Not trusting people is what I’m used to. It is my comfort zone.” — David Rose, Season 4
- “John, you know I would, but I’ve already taken my Christmas pills, and bitter experience has taught me I have just 8 minutes to make it safely up the stairs.” — Moira Rose
Conclusion
These 40 iconic quotes from Schitt’s Creek showcase why the show has captured the hearts of fans across the globe.
Whether it’s a hilarious one-liner, a dramatic Moira Rose outburst, or a heartfelt lesson from Johnny or David, the series offers something for everyone.
Explore our best Moira Rose quotes from Schitt’s Creek for her funniest and most dramatic lines!
Revisiting these lines and dialogues reminds us of the show’s wit, charm, and timeless appeal. If you love clever TV humor and unforgettable characters, Schitt’s Creek sayings are a treasure trove of entertainment and inspiration.